We as men are visual creatures. We like big boobs and big butts because they get us sexually excited.
Recently, after doing a bit of introspection, I realized that I almost always approach a girl because of the way she looks. As a result, I’ve made the mistake of judging her personality from her physical appearance. I end up categorizing her as a “good girl” or “bad girl” based on how she looks. Big mistake.
As people, we’ve been so socially conditioned to want to make good first impressions and receive them in return, very often, the initial interaction we have with someone ends up setting a precedent for the relationship. As men, our first impression of a woman comes from her physical appearance. If she looks hot, she’s automatically made a good impression on us. If she’s hot, but isn’t smiling, she’s automatically a bitch and we end up telling ourselves not to approach her. Paradoxically, if cute, smiling at you and kissing your ass, she’s suddenly a good girl!
I made this mistake a couple of months ago. Remember the story of me being sucker punched at the club? I put two and two together and realized my old fuck buddy, whom I labelled a good girl while barely knowing her had played both me and her boyfriend. Let me explain. I got sucked punched by a guy I thought was her orbiter. I called the guy who punched me in the face and he told me that he was her boyfriend and that he punched me in the face because he saw me spinning her around on the dance floor after he came back from the toilet. When I told him that I didn’t know she had a boyfriend and assumed that she was single because she let me twirl her around so many times on the dance floor, I realized that she knew he went to the bathroom and would have gone batshit crazy if he saw us dancing. She wasn’t as good as I thought she was; she was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Similarly, some of my best relationships, Lauren for example, have been with women who were initially not very amicable, but once they warmed up to me, they treated me amazingly well.
The key takeaway of this post is that you should never judge a book by its cover because it takes time to really get to know someone, regardless of whether they’re a man or woman. If you go about your life finding the touch of gray in every silver lining, your life will truly be gray. On the other hand, if you go about life with a positive outlook in search of the value the other person can bring, you will often find yourself pleasantly surprised.