While I like having women around to complement my life, I don’t enjoy dealing with drama. The silent treatment, yelling, screaming, physical violence, passive aggressiveness; these are all examples of drama women tend to display.
While there are several things that motivate a woman to throw drama at a man, the common cause of all conflicts, regardless of gender, is a breakdown in communication.
I look at my peers who are trapped in monogamous relationships with bitchy girlfriends they don’t like and chuckle. I used to be in this position myself a couple of years ago.
By spinning plates, increasing my SMV by focusing on making money and pursuing high value hobbies, and building my social circle, I’ve become a very desirable man (AND being in my mid 20s, I’ve yet to reach my peak sexual market prime) to women. With that being said, as most of my peers do not have their shit together, women, especially the clinger and the relationship slut, always try to lock me down.
While some of my fellow players enjoy stringing girls along or lying to girls for an ego trip, I do not. I understand all too well that doing so is a recipe for disaster and an invitation for drama. In addition, I believe that all human relationships, including male-female ones, involve a mutual exchange of value and respect. As such, I make damn well sure to set expectations with women from the get-go by having the talk.
1. EVENTS LEADING UP TO THE TALK
Most people end up in monogamous relationships after they’ve had sex a couple of times despite only knowing each other very briefly. This is because men don’t want other men having sex with their ‘woman’, while women have an innate desire to pair bond with men.
This is foolish for so many reasons. Would you go into business with a stranger you met a couple of times? Would you make an acquaintance a beneficiary to your estate? Would you let someone you barely know drive your sports car? If the answer is a resounding NO, why would you end up in a monogamous relationship with a girl you’ve had sex with only a couple of times?
Both players and non-players do this. Non-players do this because they have a scarcity mentality. Players do this because they’re sick of constantly chasing tail, they think they’ve found the unicorn they’ve spent so long searching, or because they’ve just gotten too lazy to spin plates and think that if they stopped introducing new women into their lives, they would have a constant, steady flow of sex. While this may appear to be ideal, reality cannot be farther from the truth.
I will never stop spinning plates. Why? The rationale is simple and analogous to pursuing multiple sources of income; if one source of income fails or depreciates, you’ll have other sources as a hedge. Likewise, having several girls in rotation serves the same purpose. If one girl decides to leave you to pursue a monogamous relationship, or decides to be a brat, you’ll have other women to fall back on.
As I do not press for monogamy at all, and leave behind visible hints that I am seeing other women (for instance, not bothering to hide hair pins and bobs that women leave behind), the women in my life almost always ask me the golden question “What are we?”.
2. HOW TO HAVE THE TALK
If you’ve never done this before, this will be new to you. Essentially, the purpose of having ‘the talk’ serves several purposes. First, it makes it clear that the two of you are not in a monogamous relationship. Second, the two of you are in a purely sexual relationship. Third, you are seeing other women.
With verbalizing your intentions, you want to speak in a direct and unambiguous manner. Start by telling her that you aren’t looking for a relationship but you enjoy her company and want to see her again in future. Make it clear to her that while this is a sexual relationship, this is by no means a one night stand. Tell her that you will be discreet and noone will know about this.
Once you’ve had the ‘talk’, she will followup with a series of questions. Be patient; put yourself in her shoes. If she’s never been in such a relationship before, she WILL have a series of followup questions that do not stop just because you’ve had the talk.
3. AFTER YOU’VE HAD THE TALK
Actions speak louder than words. Don’t waste all your hard work by acting like the two of you are in a monogamous relationship. You must at all times remember that this girl is only an FB . While you can do relationship stuff with your main girl, you can never do this with a side plate.
Chances are, this is a new experience for the girl you’re seeing; you’ve set the precedent DO NOT DETRACT from it. Doing so will only make her confused and invite her to give you drama.