Most men, especially younger men make the mistake of believing that there is one perfect woman for them. I myself have made this mistake.
With my last monogamous relationship, I was head over heels for her when we first met. I thought she was gorgeous, I thought she was classy, I thought she was the woman of my dreams. The feelings I had as a kid when I saw my crush in school all began to resurface again. The first time we had sex was amazing, the food she made me was delicious. She carried herself in a very classy way and was always decked out to the nines whenever we went out on dates. For the first month, I loved everything about her; her hair, her smell, her body. I thought that life was perfect, I had a beautiful feminine girlfriend to ‘complete’ my life. I had found the perfect woman, my soul mate.
The next month was terrible. The illusion slowly began to fade. Her flaws began to surface. I saw her without makeup when I stayed over. She had a terrible temper and we started arguing about trivial things. Sex was not as passionate as it was for the first few times. The illusion was finally shattered when she brought up her past. I was shocked that my angel, my unicorn, went through what she went through. Ignorance was indeed bliss. I wished she didn’t tell me; I wished she would have maintained the facade of the perfect woman. I began to wonder if I had made the right choice. Instead of leave her, I decided to try to salvage our problems, hoping that I could get the ‘perfect’ side of her back. Oh boy was I mistaken. I had crossed the rubicon and I was never going back. One day in a fit of rage, I yelled at her accusing her of tricking me into being in a relationship with her by pretending to be so perfect. “I never said I was perfect! You didn’t spend enough time with me initially to see me for who I really was. Don’t blame me for having unrealistic expectations!” She retorted. I ignored what she said and hung onto my belief that I could get my perfect woman back. The relationship went on for 2 years before I had enough. We weren’t compatible from the get-go; I was still a kid back then–my brain chemistry was different and I didn’t know what I really wanted in life.
HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO YOU?
Gentleman, women may smell and look great. You might get a hard on just from looking at a pretty girl. But don’t be fooled, there is no perfect woman. There is no perfect human being that exists. Get this out of your head. I know many guys who have a long ass checklist of traits they lookout for in their search for the perfect woman.
- Must come from a good family
- Has to have a college degree
- Must treat me like a king
- Must be an 8 and above
I myself used to have a checklist like this. The danger with this is when you do meet a girl who ticks your boxes, you end up pedestalizing her, kissing her ass, thinking she’s so perfect and flawless. You end up looking at her with rose tinted glasses; in doing so, you lose all capacity for rational thought. When her past resurfaces, you go into a fit; you can’t accept the reality for what it is.
I don’t believe in monogamy; I don’t believe in tying myself down exclusively to just one girl because there is no one perfect woman that is worth it. I don’t screen for ‘good’ and ‘bad’ girls, in hopes of finding my perfect woman, I look for the yes girls who are as attracted to me as I am attracted to them. As human beings, we are inherently flawed. I expect a girl to be flawed. I expect her to not have her life together. I expect her to be neurotic and solipsistic. I expect her to have stupid whiney problems like a kid. But at the same time, as I age into my mid twenties, my sexual market value is much higher than it was when I was a teenager, in my early twenties. While I don’t actively screen for girls for ‘perfection’, I am very picky about who I let into my life, be it friends or girls. The first thing I do look out for is her face. I then look at her figure. If she’s pretty and petite, I’ll introduce myself, and if the interaction is going smoothly, I’ll set up a date to see where the cards fall.
While I do look out for certain qualities in a woman, I don’t expect perfection.