Why everyone insists on getting back with their ex

I have cheated on every single girl I’ve been in a relationship with. As I’ve gotten older, my sexual market value has increased, making me more attractive to women. Despite all their flaws and solipsism, I love being around women; I love the feminine energy they bring. I love having the freedom to talk to anyone I want without my conscience making me feel guilty. For this reason, I don’t do monogamy because I don’t like the feeling of guilt that comes from cheating; I have a main girl and several Fuck buddies on the side. Every girl I go out with know that I’m seeing other girls and they’re fine with it–this makes it impossible for me to cheat. My mission and life goals take priority over any woman in my life.

I’ve seen others and have myself personally made the mistake of wanting to get back with an ex after a breakup. While you’ll almost always end up having amazing sex and a feeling of comfort and relief when you get back together with an ex, the problems that led up to the breakup will resurface eventually. Drama and unhappiness will then ensue.

WHY DO PEOPLE WANT TO GET BACK WITH THEIR EXES SO BAD?

While I’ve discussed how you can get over your ex in this post, understanding the underlying psychology behind wanting to get back together with an ex is imperative to putting these tips into action.

The problem starts with how the relationship began initially.

Most people jump into relationships after they’ve had sex with someone a couple of times. This is dangerous because you barely know the person but yet are choosing to commit to them. Would you go into a new venture with a business partner you barely know? Would you invest in something you barely know about? Would you lend money to an acquaintance? 

Because most people jump into relationships without thinking about whether the other person would be compatible and a good match for them, once the honeymoon period has ended, real problems begin to manifest themselves. The couple then spend several months if not years trying to solve the problems that would never have occurred had they taken more time to get to know each other. They eventually breakup when one party has had enough of the other party; this usually happens after a big fight.

I’m not saying that relationships will never break down if you get into a relationship with someone compatible. My point is that the odds of a relationship breaking down is higher if you jump into one without knowing the other party well enough. With that being said, most people have an underlying desire to get back with their exes because they want closure. They feel like they have unfinished business with their ex. They think that if they get a second shot at their relationship, they could salvage it. “If it wasn’t for XYZ, I would still be with her right now” The reality is you can’t fix something that was broken to begin with. Breakups don’t feel good, they hurt. Yes, your exs’ presence is something you’ve gotten used to; while getting back together with an ex can cause those feelings you initially felt with them to resurface again, it is fleeting and transient. It isn’t real.

Living in a disney fantasy is fun initially, but it isn’t sustainable. Don’t get oneitis for an ex.


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