I don’t believe in negative reinforcement

I had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine recently who quit her job as a waitress; she told me that she quit because the restaurant manager was an asshole, constantly micro-managing the staff and doing the bare minimum himself. She then went on a monologue about how the previous owner (“X”) did the work with the staff and would treat the staff to a glass of wine after their shift had ended. She continued by saying that the previous owner was such a good friend of hers that she was almost like family. She told me that she would go the extra mile to see X and her business succeed by working whenever the restaurant was short of staff or working overtime.

As a matter of my personal philosophy, I treat everyone as best as I can until they give me a reason otherwise. The same goes with women. Regardless of a girl’s past, as long as she treats me with respect, I will reciprocate. Regardless of whether she is girlfriend material, or just a fuck buddy, I will treat her as best as I can; I want to keep fucking her as long as I can. I don’t want to go out, get a new girl’s number, jump through her hoops in an attempt to fuck her, only to repeat the process all over again. As with pursuing multiple streams of income, your success (or lack thereof) in pursuing multiple women at the same time hinges on how well you treat the other party (be it your employees or the girls in your life).

I’m not advocating that you pedestalize a woman who is mean to you, or that you get discouraged after she throws shit tests at you, I’m telling you that negative reinforcement does not work. Most guys will tell you that they “won’t tolerate any disrespect from their women, and they have to put their foot down when their women threaten their manliness.” What ensues is a barrage of shouting, screaming, empty threats, anger, drama, and wasted time. Dating multiple women while challenging, is extremely rewarding. Managing your girls in rotation is essential to the success of your harem. Girls are emotional, their feelings dictate their thought processes. If you end up screaming and nexting all the girls in rotation everytime they’re moody, you’ll eventually be faced with a shortage of women in rotation. I know, because I used to do this. Instead of making a big scene, I get my point across as calmly and as rationally as I possibly can. If she doesn’t understand my point, I don’t launch personal attacks on the girl. Instead, I lead her to make the same conclusions I’ve made by asking her to answer certain questions. If she insists on yelling and screaming and throwing drama at me, I simply leave and stop talking to her for a few days before sending her a restart text.

Gentleman, especially those of you in monogamous relationships, you don’t need to scream and shout to get your point across. Negative reinforcement does not work.

2 thoughts on “I don’t believe in negative reinforcement

  1. >> I’m telling you that negative reinforcement does not work.

    I like this ^.

    You know the “dark triad” school of thought in pickup? It’s all negative reinforcement. I’m not into it. “Treat them mean to keep them keen.” No thanks.

    I like the “casanova” approach better. It’s seduction, not abuse.

    I actually think negative reinforcement does work… with low self-esteem girls. They don’t think well of themselves, so they’ll reject you for treating them well, as that’s not their reality. They likely came from abuse. So they’ll accept abuse, as that was connected with “love” at other times of their life and fits their level of self esteem.

    I don’t want low self esteem girls (even if they’re hot). So using tactics that work better on them is a path to end up with broken girls that love drama and abuse. And that’s not the lifestyle I’m trying to create.


    1. Going back to the example I gave with my friend who worked in the restaurant. Negative reinforcement may work in the now, but it is only a temporary solution. As much as the manosphere rave about negative reinforcement, I don’t feel comfortable because it is ultimately an act of unkindness–this is incongruent to who I am as a person.

      As for negative reinforcement working on low self-esteem girls, I agree. Low self-esteem girls are thrash and I don’t like thrash. While from experience, many Asian girls have daddy issues because of the way they were brought up, their daddy issues manifest themselves in the form of reliance on one’s masculine energy, drive, and leadership. I.e they want a strong willed man who has his shit together.

      Asian girls are a lot more fragile than Western girls. In the past i’ve had girls cry when I ‘laid down the law’ on them; it wasn’t a pleasant for either one of us.


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