Dating multiple women at once can be fun, but it can be extremely tiring. Too much of a good thing is a bad thing; balance is fundamental to a good life. Recently, I’ve been distracted and unfocused because of the women in my life. Spinning plates, reinitiating contact with old plates, adding new girls to rotation is both time and energy consuming.
While the 18 year old me would be ecstatic to learn about the success of his 24 year old self, the 18 year old me had no responsibilities. While women can be fun to be around, the pursuit of women comes at the opportunity cost of pursuing other financial, business, academic, or physical goals.
Reality literally hit me when I went to this big halloween party last night with a couple of friends. Long story short, as I was dancing with an old fuck buddy of mine, her boyfriend hit me in the face.
It’s been ages since I’ve gotten into a street fight and while I’ve done boxing, muay thai, wrestling and jiu jitsu, getting sucker punched at a club is never pleasant. While my 18 year old self would have loved brawling at night, the 24 year old me has a very low threshold for violence and drama.
The guy who sucked punched me was a skinny Chinese guy who was a head shorter than me and at least 10 kilos lighter than me. After coming to grips over what just happened, my initial reaction was to beat the shit out of him. I thought about it and decided against it. I had experience with mixed martial arts and was could easily overpower him, but what was the point? He was a guy with oneitis for a girl who fucked me within 3 hours of knowing me. He was just following his own code of ethics and had a strong conviction that he was doing the right thing; losing his shit because he was jealous.
While this was the first time I’ve been hit in a night club, I’m sure it won’t be the last. Let me make this clear to you gentleman, no matter how big and strong you look, no matter how much martial arts training you’ve received, there is a very high possibility that you’ll encounter a jealous drunk idiot who can’t get laid. Several things can happen when you get into a bar fight. The guy could pull out a knife and stab you. You guys can fight it out on the street and if he loses, he could come back with his buddies, looking for you, or the police might show up and arrest you. Regardless of which side of the pond you find yourself in; if you’re the one being attacked, understand that it’s nothing personal. The attacked just wants to get laid. If you’re the jealous orbitor, understand that fighting another guy over a girl is simply not worth the consequences. Bruises and broken joints are not a sign of masculinity or chivalry, they’re a sign of stupidity. As a matter of personal principle, I don’t actively seek out fights. I will however defend myself if there is a need.
In case you were wondering, yes, I did go get laid that night, but that’s not the point of this post. The point I’m trying to drive across is that going to a club for the very specific purpose of getting laid is a very low return on investment. I went to the club that night to socialize with my friends; I was outcome independent. Being easily one of the best dressed guys in the club and having a high SMV , I knew that it was all a matter of finding a girl who was both attracted and attractive to me. If I went home alone, that would have been fine as well; I would have had fun either way with my friends, and would have had the added advantage of meeting new people, expanding my social network and possible future contacts.
The second thing I realized after being sucker punched was that my life was imbalanced. For the past couple of weeks I regularly indulged in hedonism. My life lacked structure and discipline. I was falling behind work and was constantly day dreaming about my future. My success with women led me to become complacent. Meeting and having several new girls in rotation distracted me from my larger goals. It took a punch to the face to remind me of what I wanted in life.
I thought about what had happened again and again. As I began to wonder why that had happened, reality hit me again. The third, and arguably, most important I learnt that night was that looks can be deceiving. The girl played the two of us against each other. I had no interest in this girl after fucking her twice, she was an absolute bore to be around and I did not want her in rotation anymore. I stopped responding to her messages and it was at least a month since we last met. That being said, given the precedent that we set for our relationship, she should have told me that she had a boyfriend who would have gone bat shit crazy if he saw us dancing.
While reality did hit me that night, her new guy didn’t realize what had happened. Her new guy didn’t realize that the girl he was kissing had my cock in her mouth a couple of weeks prior. Her new guy thinks she’s an innocent naive young girl. Ignorance is bliss indeed. Would you rather live in ignorance or confront reality head on?