Ever now and then I’ll meet a girl and from the get go, it’ll be quite obvious she likes me, but there’s just something off about the interaction. The girls’ keeping her distance and invariably being cold to me.
Let me be more specific. My interactions go something like this. I’ll meet a girl off the street and she responds positively. She’ll ask me personal questions, her pupils will be dialiated. If I leave a venue, she’ll walk with me. Perhaps she might laugh at my jokes as well. At the end of our very brief encounter, I go for her number and she gives it to me without hesitation.
This is a girl who likes me but is cold to me. Let’s call her cold girl.
1. WHY IS SHE COLD?
For those of you who don’t have any experience with this type of girl, this can be quite a daunting and surreal experience. She’ll be both hot and cold to you. She’s texting you constantly, keeping the conversation going, but her messages lack emotion. There are no emojis, no overt flirting, no photo exchanges. None of that school-girl like naiivity that a girl with little to no life experience exudes. You’re wondering to yourself why, unlike the other girls you’ve met, she’s not excited, yet, she’s still texting you. This bothers you. You have no idea why she’s so cloistered, bodering on an attitude problem. You ask yourself why bother when she’s reluctant to open up. Why is she like this? Did you fuck up somehow? Have you done something extremely stupid?
I’ll tell you why. It’s because she’s had a very bad exprience with men in the past that has affected her ability to pair bond. While she’s extremely attracted to you, she’s afraid of history repeating itself. She has a fragile constitution and doesn’t want to go through another bad experience. This is why she’s closed off. It’s a self-defence mechanism. She isn’t doing this on purpose. She doesn’t realize that she’s projecting her insecurities onto you. You can bet your ass she had an abusive ex boyfriend who has impaired her ability to pair-bond. This girl has a big chip on her shoulder. Unlike a normal girl, she’s got unresolved issues. Do not under any circumstances make this girl your girlfriend. You’re in for a world of drama and baggage.
2. HOW TO DEAL WITH A COLD GIRL
Despite her tough guy facade, she’s still a little girl inside. These types of girls usually have very strict upbringings and/ or come from very repressed societies. She’s like a bird locked in a cage.
Subconsciously, she wants you–bad. Her pre-frontal cortex, however, is reminding her of her previous adverse experience. You’ll need to convince her that unlike her ex/ exs’, you are a high value man. She’ll almost always have extremely rigid body language, like she’s got something stuck up her ass. While she might fold her arms, cross her legs, not maintain eye contact with you, don’t be unhinged. This is all part of the charade.
With the cold girl, you’ll need to focus on building comfort. You want to reignite that “spark” that she’s lost through the years. Show her “your world”. Tell her stories about yourself, show her photos, tell her about your friends and family. Do not attempt to fuck the cold girl on a first date, it’ll only backfire and reinforce her false beliefs.
3. WHAT STRATEGY DO YOU USE ON THE COLD GIRL?
After I’ve gotten her number, I’ll text her to set up a date 2 days from then.
The cold girl is almost always timid. She gets frightened easily. She’ll cringe when you watch a scary movie with her, she’ll hesitate to walk in a dark alley with you. In light of this, I like to mix my first dates with both comfort and adventure. I’ll take her to a dive bar at venue 1, take her to an upscale bar when I bounce her to venue 2, then go for a walk.
While I like to keep my first dates short. Ideally under 2 hours, I make exceptions for the cold girl. With the cold girl, a first date can last up to 5 hours over several venue changes.
I try to set up a second date 2 days from the first date to build momentum. The second date will be at a bar/ cafe near my place. We’ll have one drink where I ask her about her ex and then bounce back to my place. I make her a drink when we get back to my place to loosen her up. Once she’s comfortable, I start escalating HARD.
Once you’ve kissed and fucked her, her icy facade goes out the window. Don’t be complacent. Remember, deep down, subconsciously, she’s afraid of another bad experience. While you should under no circumstances make her your girlfriend, and you must continue spinning plates, don’t be a jerk to her. Treat her with a decent amount of respect and courtesy and you will be rewarded accordingly.
On a side note, personally, I vibe the best with this group of women.