As a matter of principle, I never lie. I might choose not to answer a question, I might change the topic, but I don’t lie. I don’t lie about my life, I don’t lie about my intentions.
Most guys go about approaching women the wrong way. Regardless of whether you’re Asian, Black, White, Middle Eastern, pretending to be a girl’s friend in hopes of getting into her pants is the WRONG way of doing things. First of all, in doing so, you’ve inadvertently put yourself in the friend zone, setting the wrong precedent from the get-go. In doing so, you run the risk of extreme levels of failure when you want to pull the trigger. Second, if you fail in your attempts at getting into her pants, and chances are high that you WILL FAIL, since you’ve put yourself in the friendzone, she’ll think that you’re a lying conniving scumbag and will most likely burn bridges with you. You lose access to her circle of hot friends (who you could have otherwise potentially fucked) and whatever business opportunities who could otherwise have gotten. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, she’ll bad mouth you to ad infinitum. The long term adverse effects are simply not worth the punt.
1. MEETING POTENTIAL CANDIDATES
While I’m only in my mid twenties, I’ve been around the block and have had so much practice that I can potentially meet women anywhere. Be it at the grocery store, at a coffee shop, on campus, on the subway, a nightclub, or the gym. Women are everywhere.
But what kind of woman is a good candidate as a fuck buddy? Most of you will think that a potential fuck buddy has to be a typical slut. “She has to act like a slut and be dressed like a slut because a high-quality woman will never be willing to be a fuck buddy. High-quality women all want to find boyfriends, a high-quality woman will never agree to be a fuck-buddy.” This is what societal programming tells you. However, this societal programming reflects the reality of your average run of the mill man who typically has one monogamous girlfriend and isn’t running a harem of very sexy attractive women. Your run of the mill man pedestalizes women he deems attractive and higher value than himself. Once he has sex with a “high-quality woman”, he’s afraid he would lose her and therefore, traps himself in a never-ending cycle of monogamy and onegina™. Our friend doesn’t realize that men age like wine and women age like cheese. He sees her as the prize and not himself as the good catch. People latch onto their beliefs. Their beliefs shape their reality and vice versa. Most men will pedestalize women and elevate them to a god-like status.
I’m here to tell you that I’ve had very high quality women, who’ve checked the boxes of most men, as fuck buddies. I’m here to show you how.
2. ESTABLISHING A PRECEDENT
Every cause produces and effect. If you behave like her boyfriend from the outset, she will expect you to be her boyfriend. If you treat her like a fuck buddy from the get go, she will not expect you to be her boyfriend. This isn’t rocket science, yet most guys (including myself when I was a young man), have made this very fatal mistake. It’s extremely difficult to convert a girlfriend into a fuck buddy. However, you can always convert a fuck buddy into your girlfriend if she has demonstrated that she is worthy of this.
So how do you establish a precedent from the get-go? Don’t do boyfriend like-things.
The first date ideally should be short and swift. Meet her at a bar, get a few drinks, and use your discretion to see how invested she is in you. If she’s constantly smiling, giving you eye contact, touching you, etc, try to proposition her back to your place and escalate as usual. If her buying temperature isn’t right, and you play your cards right, see her twice more. If you still don’t get the bang, write it off as a bad debt and cut off contact with her. If she reinitiates contact with you, use your discretion.
After you’ve had sex with her, two things can happen.
The first thing that can happen is that she will give you “the talk” and ask you what the two of you are. Tell her the truth, and justify it with “I don’t do relationships because I’m focused primarily on pursuing my goals.” Disqualify yourself from the boyfriend camp by saying “I wouldn’t make a very good boyfriend, if you’re looking for a boyfriend, I won’t try to convince you to be with me.” Some girls will keep quiet, while processing this. From experienced, older girls will always followup with “So is this a one night stand?” To which, my go to answer is “Only if you want it to be, I do want to see you more often”. Thereafter, you can make it clear that you two are fuck buddies but not boyfriend and girlfriend. You explain to her how your fuck buddy arrangement works and that the both of you are free to see other people. As long as you are clear and unequivocal about how the arrangement works, most girls, regardless of age, or whether they’ve had fuck buddies before (Most Chinese girls have never had fuck buddies), will agree to this arrangement.
The second thing that can happen is she assumes that you are her boyfriend and starts exhibiting girlfriend like behaviours like wanting to spend the night, cooking for you, constantly texting you, wanting to introduce you to her friends etc etc etc. Nip it in the bud. Once you start noticing symptoms of her catching feelings for you, set her straight. Make it clear to her that this is a purely sexual relationship and that the two of you are not a couple.
3. HOW SHOULD YOU TREAT YOUR FUCK BUDDIES?
I’ve had female friends who complained that their male fuck buddies treat them like a piece of meat purely for their sexual gratification. I.e their male fuck buddies do not treat them like a friend. Let me make it clear to you, gentleman, you are not immune from basic etiquette and human courtesy just because you’re fucking the girl.
Treat your fuck buddy the way you would treat a friend. I’ve had fuck buddies from various backgrounds. Some were smart and training to be investment bankers, one was training to be a neurosurgeon. I’ve also had really dumb bimbo like fuck buddies who didn’t share any common interests with me. Nevertheless, I see my fuck buddies as a long term investment. I see them as a potential gateway to future opportunities (business wise and women wise) and so I treat them as best as I can.
4. BE PREPARED TO LOSE GIRLS
On Chinese Casanova, I advocate spinning plates as this is fundamental to cultivating an abundance mindset and to avoiding neediness and oneitis. Some girls in rotation will drop off to pursue monogamous relationships, some will go get married etc etc. The personal morality of some girls will cause internal conflict and her to leave the harem. Whatever happens, you need to constantly be spinning plates to the point where you have a surplus of women ready to hop on your dick.