The worst advice I’ve ever gotten

Many years ago when I was 18, I found myself in a very toxic relationship with this girl from Singapore.

Before I go into the dilemma I was given the bad advice for, let me go back to how we met. At that ripe young age, I didn’t know shit about the world; I didn’t know shit about women. Constantly frustrated that I couldn’t get the girls I wanted and turned to friends for advice.

Long story short, there was this girl in my class I had the hots for, but she was always around her friends. Being such a young guy back then, I was intimidated by how attractive she was and developed crippling approach anxiety. For the entire semester, I did not dare speak to her. Semester eventually ended, it was now or never. Instead of asking for her phone number directly, I chose to weasel my way into it by asking her if she could send me the notes she had taken in class and that I would send her my Email address by text. She gave me her phone number and I remember being so excited I wanted to jump into the ceiling.

So began the text exchange. Instead of using text messaging as a platform for setting up a date in future, I chose to text her for several hours on end to get to know her to waste my time and not get laid. I got more and more oneitis and needy as the days went by. I began to get this disney fantasy about how she was so perfect and how we would live happily ever after we went out on a few dates. *Cringe*

I have no fucking idea what was wrong with me then, but throughout the interaction, not once did I suggest we meet up. Not once did I suggest doing something together. Not one fucking time. Eventually, she didn’t respond to my messages, causing me extreme frustration and even more male neediness. I sent her several restart texts but to no avail. I bowed my head in failure, resigned to the fact that I would never get to meet the love of my life *Cringex2*.

I’ll cut out the rest of the cringe-worthiness and get to the point. I ask her out to dinner one day at this big fancy restaurant. We then went for a walk on the waterfront thereafter. Instead of planning logistics, I planned a big romantic night out as a gesture of my love and sincerity *Cringex3*. The date was a fucking 6 hour long affair waste of my time. Eventually, I told her that I liked her and wanted to “be more than friends” *cringex4* I then tried to kiss her and was rebuffed. She said she would think about my proposal string me along. The next day, I got a text from her saying yes! we would be boyfriend and girlfriend she would proceed to make my life a living hell for the next 12 months.

I was over the fucking moon when I received this text. It was like the heavens had opened up and god had reached out to choose me for salvation. *Cringex5*

We went out and over the course of the month, all my advances were rebuffed. I was frustrated but being Mr nice guy cringeworthy, I didn’t want conflict; I didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable. *Cringex6* I wanted to do the right thing *Cringex7*

I confided in a close friend of mine (Who was 23 at that time, I might add). This close friend idiot, then proceeded to give me the worst advice run of the mill societally programmed advice to my dilemma. He told me that I should not treat her like a piece of meat and that I should wait until she was ready. I lapped up his advice like it came from god almighty himself. So I waited and waited and waited and waited.

It would be another 2 months before I got her to kiss me. Needless to say, I didn’t get laid once during our time together. While I no longer pedestalize women, nor do I have friends like Mr. don’t treat her like a piece of meat, I want you, my dear readership to reflect on this personal extremely embarrassing anecdote from my past.

Gentleman, make your intentions known. If she isn’t interested, move onto the next girl. It is a numbers game. The more women you approach, the more plates you spin, the better your chances are of a very fulfilling sex life.


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