While most Chinese girls are clingy to some extent, the clinger is excessively clingy to the point of absolute annoyance. A clinger is usually very young (18-21) with little to no experience with men (bordering on virginal youth), or in her mid 20s (23-27). The former is clingy because she has either never, or have had little experience with the opposite sex due to the oppressive system in China. The latter is clingy because she either has a string of bad relationships, or has had a poor relationship with her father. (i.e daddy issues). Notwithstanding this, clingers across all age groups can be clingy for any combination of the afore-mentioned reasons. I.e a very young clinger could be clingy because of both daddy issues and being pumped and dumped repetitively, vice versa. In fact, as I will now explain, these reasons are all interrelated because of one’s insecurity.
1. WHY ARE THEY CLINGY?
In China, the man is the head of the household. He is responsible for making money and bringing food to the table. Often, the head of the household, in pursuit of wealth and social status neglects his family. In addition, many business deals in China are conducted in KTVs where drinking and (whoring) is prevalent. Alcoholism and absenteeism is not a good combination.
Of course, not all Chinese men are businessmen. One may then argue that without the alcohol and constant time devoted to business deals, girls who have fathers who aren’t entrepreneurs surely would not have daddy issues? Not quite. The older generation (i.e parents of girls who are now in their early 20s), are so harsh and draconian in their parenting that most children in modern day China have poor relationships with their parents. For example, one of my fuck buddies told me that her father (Who was a high ranking officer in the military) left her on the road shoulder on the highway as punishment for arguing with him. Of course he came back to get her after dinner.
Little or no experience with the opposite sex
In this post, I discussed how most Chinese women have few, but very long long term relationships (2-6 years). If you are going out with a very young Chinese girl, chances are she falls within this category. This is because everyone around her has followed the precedent of being monogomous since time immemorial.
As I have mentioned above, insecurity is the primary reason why Chinese girls are clingy. Daddy issues and a lack of experience are secondary reasons that can be related to one’s insecurity. In other words, a girl’s lack of sexual or dating experience, or daddy issues is a problem only if she feels insecure about it. If she’s fully accepted and embraced the fact that she has X problem, then she won’t be insecure, then she won’t be clingy. However, if she hasn’t come to grips with the fact that X problem exists (i.e she hasn’t worked out her issues), then she will be insecure about it. When she is insecure about whatever idiosyncratic flaw she has, she will devalue herself. I.e she feels that her sexual market value is lower than yours, further reinforcing the fact that you are the prize. As I’ve mentioned here, unlike their Western counterparts, Chinese women are largely very K-selected; while not all are husband-hunters, C-girls will almost always try to boyfriend you if you are a high-value man. Therefore, regardless of whether you’ve met her at the club and had a one night stand with her, or banged her after several dates, you can expect varying degrees of clinginess.
2. HOW TO SPOT A CLINGER
The most obvious tell tale sign that someone is a clinger is if she constantly initiates contact with you. Likewise, if she wants to introduce you to her friends or expressed that she wants you to meet her family, you can bet your ass that you’ve got a clinger on your hands.
Other tell tale signs include writing love letters or any other expressions of unrequited love (i.e female oneitis)
Bottom line: if you find that a girl is jealous of you being around other women, constantly expresses her feelings for you, or wants more than a purely sexual relationship with you to the point of incisive compulsion, you’ve got a clinger.
3. HOW TO DEAL WITH A CLINGER
Ignoring her, or stringing her along is ineffective and does no good in the long run. Honesty is the best policy here. Just because she’s a clinger doesn’t mean she won’t make a good addition to your harem. What you’ll want to do is to tell her that you’re not the right person to be in a relationship with because you’re busy pursuing your goals and don’t have time otherwise. You can followup by saying you’ve had relationships in the past and from experience, they never work out for you.
This almost always work. However, you need to follow up with this by adhering to what you’ve just advocated by minimizing contact with her and maintaining a purely sexual relationship with her. Do not under any circumstances buy her gifts, take her out to the movies, meet her friends, or do any boyfriend stuff with her. Doing so will only signal to her that you’ve magically “changed your mind” and have considered her previous offer. Stick to your guns.