I’ve written about how to handle breakups here.
This blogpost will discuss the 2 types of breakups and what to do once you’ve identified these breakups.
1. The complete indifference breakup
Your girlfriend is totally indifferent to your existence. The memories you once shared; none of that matters. You could get run over by a truck tomorrow and she wouldn’t bat an eyelid. Nothing you say will change her mind; there is nothing to salvage here beyond your dignity.
This happens when you’ve done something incredibly stupid like get caught cheating, called her a slut, violently beat her, etc.
As I’ve said, nothing you do will change her mind–chances are she’s already blocked your number. Googling “What do I do? My ex girlfriend has blocked me” won’t help. What WILL help is IMMEDIATLEY approaching new girls, and establishing new goals for yourself to ease you through the pain of a breakup. You can use thoughts of revenge and jealousy to fuel your determination and execute your goals with more audacity than ever before.
2. Sitting on the fence breakup
Either her pre-frontal cortex is telling her to dump you, or her friends or family are telling her to. You’ve either overgamed her, got caught cheating, made her feel too inadequate, or did something to make her despise you. Unlike the total indifference breakup, you haven’t done something so incorrigible to make her feel indifferent. She hasn’t decided whether she wants you around. Her inner hamster is spinning, wondering what she should do next. It’s a catch 22. If she stays with you, it comes at a cost. She’s wondering if she should stay with you.
Don’t make it easier for her to dump you. Don’t make it easier for her to rationalize the break up with you. If you apologize a thousand times and tell her you “didn’t know what you had till you lost it,” you give her too much hand. She WANTS you to miss her, to be broken, to feel like you can’t live without her. It will bother her if you’re confidently moving on with your life.
First, you need to realize that whoever cares LESS will ALWAYS find it easier to deal with the break up. Shut that voice in your head that’s telling you that you miss her and you want things to be the way they used to be. I’m not telling you to next her, I’m telling you to not be needy. Disregard that scarcity mindset and adopt an abundance mindset. If she leaves, she leaves, you’ll find someone else soon enough.
It isn’t easy, but once you’ve internalized this abundance mentality, the second thing you must do is PRESERVE rapport while making actionable changes to your life outlined here. Give her space for several weeks. Once you’re ready, meet up with her in person; she’ll come running back to you in no time.